From victim to empowered woman!

The second speaker for the 30 Day Reinvention Project, Stacey Spensley, had a lot of wisdom to share.  She spoke quite a bit on a topic that we ALL know exists, but usually tend to ignore.  It's something that's second nature to us.  Self-victimizing words.  So many times we are unsatisfied with how things are going in our day-to-day.  Instead of taking responsibility for our actions or reactions to certain events, we blame others and the situation.  We use phrases such as I hope, I wish, I can't, if only, I should, and it's not my fault.  What's the outcome of these words?  We start to really believe they're true, ourselves.  And even though we try to hide it and burry it deep inside, we pour out our pain subliminally through converstation.

For example!

I can't seem to lose any weight.  I don't have the time to work out.  I don't have the money to eat healthy.  I get embarrassed going to the gym.  Poor me.

No way, sister.  No more pity party!  It's time to take control.

Stacey gives great advice on how we can move forward from this by using empowering words.  Her worksheet, which I've attatched here, is an awesome way to help you realize just how much you might use these victimizing phrases in your vocabulary.

Let's look back at the same example I used earlier.  Instead of using that awful phrasing, I can take charge by using a more positive approach.

I won't lose weight if I keep this up.  It's all my fault that I've procrastinated and haven't made time in my daily schedule to work out.  Perhaps I shouldn't have gone out last night.  I can learn from this experience and make better use of my time in the future.  I can work harder at budgeting and skip that latte in the morning in order to eat healthier.  I know I can handle going to the gym, I just need to stop using silly excuses!

Where there's a will, there's a way!  I'm going to definitely work on taking more control of my life and stop playing the damsel in distress.  In order to change my ways, I have to save myself!   This will definitely be a work in progress!

Task #2

My circle of life project put a lot of things into perspective for me about how unbalanced I really feel.  I took a lot of time today to write about what areas I was most dissatisfied with, and how they affected other areas of my life.  What surprised me most was that pretty much every issue I deal with on the daily, and every ounce of stress I have, stems from the fact that I don't handle my money very well.  I'm always broke, haven't payed my bills properly in the past, leading me deep into the depths of Debtville, and I constantly find myself longing for things I wish I could have.  I worry about not finishing school and getting my dream job because I can't afford it.  I've been needing a serious doctor's visit for some time now, but don't have any insurance to cover it.  I work long hours at both of my jobs, come home feeling exhausted, but instead of sleeping, go out with all of my friends and party until the sun comes up, just to be able to have a little fun.  Then I spend my time at home complaining to my boyfriend (Still boyfriend?  Things have been so bad lately, I don't even know.) about how bad my day was and how I don't have any money and how the house is a wreck and poor me, poor me.  Not "how was your day, honey?  I missed you!" (insert hug and kiss)  This epiphany of "financial disaster" makes it very obvious what one of my non-negotiable tasks for the next several months is going to be.  Budget.  I've developed a new plan.  First, I listed all of my bills.  After that, I organized them on what needs to be paid now, soon, and can wait a little while.  Then I wrote a list of all other expenses (gas, food, home, personal, education, fun, vacation.)  As a waitress and bartender, I make cash money on the daily.  This has been a problem for me, because cash in my pocket seems to disappear just as fast as I make it.  To eliminate this problem, I made envelopes labeled with all of the previous expenses and am budgeting my daily salary like this:

bills 50%
gas 5%
groceries 5%
home 5%
personal 10%
education 15%
fun 5%
vacation 5%

It is my new daily task to stick with this plan.  Take the money that I make every day, split it, and place it in the corresponding envelopes.  I must keep the envelopes at home and only take with me, the ones that relate to what I'm doing.  Example: if I'm going to the grocery store, I can take the grocery envelope with me.  I can only use that money to buy food items.

It's definitely going to be a challenge, but with time, I think I'll start to have more and more funds and will be much less stressed out.  If things become really good, I might even be able to open up my savings account again and work on getting my student loans fully paid.  Up, will open a new chapter in my life, and things will finally fall into place.

Imbalance.

My friend Lauren shared an amazing website with me that's exactly what I need in order to get more structure and focus on my life makeover.  It's a free sight that offers daily advice and tips from professional women that reach out and help people find peace, health, energy, and balance.  It's called the 30 Day Reinvention Project and after a major breakdown today, I'm looking forward to giving it a try.

Link to the website!

Day one:  The first step is to evaluate your life.  This is a visual to help determine what's making you happy and what's imbalanced.

Circle of Life

Mine looks like this...

Not exactly a perfect circle, now is it?  Kind of puts into perspective how unbalanced I really am.

Let go and forgive.

According to 365 Ways to Live Happy: Simple Ways to Find Joy Every Day, by Meera Lester:

"You can never go back to previous moments or past events.  Once you have moved through them, they are forever gone.  Whatever is in the past that haunts you or makes you sad or fearful necessarily stays there.  It cannot be undone.  If some past event or encounter still bothers you, do what you can to process through it and let it go.  You alone give it the power it has over you.  Release it and instead focus on the present moment.  Be mindful right now of where you are, who you are, and what you're doing.  Paying attention to and being fully present in each moment of your life means you truly will be showing up for your life.  That is the way to happiness."

I'm taking some time to write a forgiveness letter to someone that I care about deeply, but has shattered my heart through violent, angry actions.  If I'm ever going to progress with my relationships and be happy, I have to forgive others, and more importantly, myself.  This is a fresh start.  Holding on to angry feelings dealing with past events isn't going to get me anywhere but sad.

Now, for some music therapy...  Zeds Dead "Coffee Break"

Link for Lester's book:  http://www.amazon.com/365-Ways-Live-Happy-Simple/dp/1605500283/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325877581&sr=8-1

Beach Body Challenge

It's getting near!  Ultra Music Festival.  A time for me to escape from the daily stress of work and Nebraska and soak up some sunshine and beautiful music in Florida!  I'd really like to chisel off some of this extra weight before I go and get into the most incredible shape I've ever been in.  Therefore, I'm creating a challenge for myself.  I want this to be one of the most memorable experiences of my life...in a good way.

Right now, I'm lucky enough to have my afternoons free from work.  Why not take this time to do something productive for my health?

Here's a picture I took of myself a few minutes ago:

I'm definitely down a lot of weight from last year, which is awesome, but if I can get down another 25 pounds, I will feel like a goddess!

RULES:

* NO soda or processed juice.  If it isn't water or tea, and I didn't juice it myself,  I can't drink it.  I am going to make an exception (since I know myself all too well) and say that I can have 3 alcoholic beverages a week.  Check out my post about the importance of drinking water!  http://makeovergodmother.blogspot.com/2011/12/project-h2o.html

* NO fast food.  At all.  Zilch.  Period.

* NO junk food (chips, candy, ice cream, cake, prezels, crackers, overly salty, carb-y, or sugary)

* I can only eat out once a week.

* Follow the "proportion" plan.  http://makeovergodmother.blogspot.com/2011/12/proportion.html

* Work out an hour a day three times a week and two hours a day three times a week, stretches, meditation and refocus one day a week.

WORKOUT SCHEDULE:

Monday: (2) Cardio, strength, abs.
Tuesday: (1) Yoga/ pilates, cardio.
Wednesday: (2) Cardio, strength, abs.
Thursday: (1) Yoga/ pilates, cardio.
Friday: (2) Cardio, strength, abs.
Saturday: (1) Yoga/ pilates, cardio.
Sunday:  An hour of stretching and meditation, weigh in, measure, and record results.  Make new goals and refresh for the next week.

If anyone would like to join me on this challenge, please send me a comment or e-mail.  Work-out buddies make it much more fun.  Also, I'd like to let you in on a little something.  A friend shared a site with me that is filled with all sorts of information on lifestyle change, health, and fitness.  It's free to join and has some awesome work-out plans.  Check out Spark People for ideas when you get in a rut, or if it's your first time doing a work-out routine.  It's a great way to motivate yourself!

http://www.sparkpeople.com/

This is definitely going to be quite a challenge!  I look forward to filling you in on the progress and sharing more pictures of the results.  Hot body, I'll see YOU in a few months.  :)

Makeover my...fridge.

Healthy eating tip number one:  make sure you have healthy food to eat.  Duh.

My fridge right now...  full of leftovers, packaged goods, processed junk...what an unorganized, unhealthy mess!  This is partially my fault, and the rest, my 25 year-old male roommate with the metabolism of a 12 year-old growing boy.

Now that I've grossed you all out...  what to do about this mess?

1.  Ditch the crap.  Anything that looks unhealthy, has a ridiculous number of calories, or has gone bad (that doesn't belong to Tony, of course) TOSS.  If you see it, you'll crave it.  I promise.

2.  Make a list of healthy foods that can be transformed into several delicious meals.  Some people like to create a meal plan and go with it.  I live with a hectic schedule that is always being tweaked.  I like to cook in the moment.  Improvise.  Take what I have and create a masterpiece.  There goes that right brain again.

My List of Refrigerator must-haves:

*Baby spinach

*Eggs

*Skim milk

*Light vinegarette

*Roasted red peppers

*Imitation crab meat

*Yogurt

*Artisan cheeses

*Chicken

*Fish

*Lemons

*Onion

*Bell peppers

*Mushrooms

*Frozen berries

3.  Shop.  Don't be afraid to scan the ads to find your best values.

4.  Clean and re-stock the fridge.

5.  Voila!  Happy healthy eating to me.

2012 Goals

New year, fresh start.  I've never been much of a participant in "new year's resolutions" in the past.  The last few months, however, I've reached a bit of an epiphany: I'm stuck in a rut and don't know how to get myself out of this mess!  Bibbidy, bobbidy, boo!  I started "Fairy Godmother, Make Over my Life!"  I began this blog with such high hopes, was doing well for a while, then somehow, got lost in my fantasy la-la land full of sunshine and rainbows and forgot about the real world.  (Typical Christina move.  It's happened more times than I can count.)  This time, I'm taking a new approach and really focusing.  This is important to me and I need to stop distracting myself from reality and really make an effort to improve my health, happiness, relationships, and stability.

The new direction I want to take with this lifestyle make-over is based on the Chakra system.  "The Chakras are metaphysical vortices of energy originating in the ancient Indian system of healing, which positions them in seven major centres down the body, controlling the flow of subtle energies.  They symbolize the connection between the spiritual and the physical."  (-Liz Simpson, author of "The Book of Chakra Healing")
http://www.amazon.com/Book-Chakra-Healing-Liz-Simpson/dp/0806920971/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325489671&sr=8-1

This journey I'm about to embark upon is one of self-discovery.  I want to feel healthy and energetic.  I want to be able to express myself in the best light.  I want to find peace, learn about the world, and most of all, love like I've never loved before.  I want to make something of myself and leave behind a miserable and angry past.

The remainder of this post will tell a brief description of each Chakra.  I received this information from "The Book of Chakra Healing" by Liz Simpson.  I'll also include some personal goals based on the Chakra philosophies that will help bring this from text to real-life status.  Later posts will be about a few things I'm doing each day to reach these goals and my progress with such.  Let the amazing journey begin!

1. Root Chakra:  Physical health and fitness, grounding, stability, security, being able to stand up for oneself.

Personal goals I want to achieve, based on the Root philosophies:

* Eat a healthy, balanced diet.
* Drink water.
* Take vitamins.
* Work out daily.
* Take control of my finances.
* Re-establish links with friends and family I've lost contact with.
* Make my home reflect who I truly am.

2. Sacral Chakra: Allowing pleasure, creating expression, uncovering motivations influencing choices, emotional balance, sexuality.

Personal goals based on the Sacral philosophies:

* Create or work on one piece of art a week.
* Respect all of myself.
* Accept love from others.
* Embrace sexuality.

3. Solar Plexus Chakra:  Purpose, self-respect, courage to take risks, self-will

Personal goals:

*Confront my fears and try to conquer them.
* Don't be a doormat.  Stand up for myself.
* Control anger in a positive way.
* Know that I am my own person and that I choose my thoughts and behavior.
* Look, dress, and feel confident.
* Work on the way I carry myself and my posture.

4.  Heart Chakra: Balance, compassion, self-acceptance, forgiveness, love and relationships

Personal goals:

* Connect with people through smiling and simple communication.
* Do something nice for those who are less fortunate.
* Be a loving and compassionate friend.
* Find a way to release past pain and hurt.
* Have no enemies.

5.  Throat Chakra: Harmony with others, self-knowledge, creativity, personal expression, the power of choice, communication

Personal goals dealing with the Throat Chakra philosophies:

* Exercise and strengthen my voice.
* Take a vocal music lesson.
* Start a journal to express my feelings safely.
* Speak up for myself.
* Embrace any creative opportunity.
* Speak from the heart.
* Think about what I say before I say it.

6.  Third Eye Chakra: ability to "see" other than with the eyes, emotional intelligence, intuition, wisdom

Personal goals:

* Practice being silent and listening.
* Act upon intuition.
* Be alert to the tiniest details of the world around me.
* Think about why certain people or situations have crossed my path.
* Read more.
* Use my imagination.

7.  Crown Chakra: expanded consciousness, selflessness, spirituality

Personal goals:

* Have a magnetic personality.
* Be at peace with myself.
* Meditate.
* Let go and be free.
* Release all of my limited thoughts. "Think outside the box."

I look forward to hearing your feedback!